Sarra
by Melissa Ordesky
Summary: Leaping to a bad conclusion... Ain't always the best thing to do on Serenity. Set just before Inara is due to leave Serenity.
1. Chapter The First

**Sarra**

A Firefly fan fiction by Melissa Ordesky.

Disclaimer: Firefly does not belong to me, nor does Charmed.

Summary: Leaping to a bad conclusion... Ain't always the best thing to do on _Serenity_. Set just before Inara is due to leave Serenity.

A/N: Sep-rutting-tember. I think y'all know what I'm rantin' on about!

-----

"Are you sure it's safe?"

Inara pursed her lips, still a bright slash of scarlet despite the darkness of her shuttle, looking nervously with her large dark eyes at the contraption Kaylee had rigged together.

"It's perfectly fine, Inara." Kaylee beamed happily, dusting her hands off on the knees of her brown-used-to-be-beige dungarees. "All I had to do was strip the wire and old-style plug, re-attach it to a-"

"-I don't think I need to know." Inara shook her head in amusement at the optimistic mechanic, before settling down at the curve of one of the coaches. She looked doubtfully around at her crowded shuttle, wondering how come she'd agreed to have the entertainment nights there, and sighed. There were too many arguments when they held the weekly meet in the kitchen, because not everyone could see the screen. Mal had protested that all they did was sit and watch it instead of having conversation at mealtimes, and had summarily banned it from the kitchen area, and nowhere else was really right to do it.

The cargo bay was too big, and gave Kaylee the shivers if something scary happened onscreen. Even though they explained 'til they were blue in the face that the monsters were made of plastic and smoke and mirrors, Kaylee still got scared. The other shuttle, while being round and easier to get a look in at the screen, was uncomfortable. Somehow the other spare rooms weren't quite the right shape to get everyone in comfortably, and she'd volunteered her shuttle just to stop the fighting as a headache threatened to arrive.

This was the seventh week they'd been in there, and at three episodes of _Charmed_ a sitting, she hoped Jayne couldn't bargain another absolutely ancient television series on any other planet before they reached Persephone and she left for good.

To be honest, that was another reason for holding the weekly meets in her shuttle. It was a bonding session for the small, hotchpotch of a crew, a chance to grab a few more precious memories before she had to leave.

_Had to_. It all sounded a little too final for Inara, a little too unavoidable. She hated the inflexibility of _had to_. She'd spent too many years training in the Guild to appear flawless and sophisticated and graceful at all times, with no room for any kind of imperfection. Her choice to sail around the 'verse in a _Firefly_ class vessel was considered idiosyncratic for the beautiful Companion, but allowed as a small quirk.

Inara loved _Serenity_ as if the amalgamation of parts and bits which didn't seem much separately combined to make the strong 'boat' that could wade through space with a remarkable elegance was an individual member of the crew. She loved the flexibility, and the fact she _could _delay clients for a day or two citing the journeying delays, although this was something she'd rather die than admit to Mal.

It was one of many items on the list of other similar truths.

Even though it wasn't a life-or-death _had to_, or someone else forcing her _had to_, it was still a very relevant _had to_. She'd been procrastinating for too long, even now, allowing Mal's blatant excuse to have her on board for another few months because it coincided with her own reluctance to leave. But she had to. If she didn't go soon, she'd _never _do it, and that was one of the biggest reasons for the _had__ to_ in the first place.

"Man, I dig this retro stuff," Wash commented lazily, startling Inara from her thoughts with his frank and individual way of saying things.

"If you can call items from half a millennia ago _retro_," Zoe remarked coolly, shifting in her spot nestled on the floor, lying against Wash's legs, curled up comfortably against him. Inara could almost swear that Zoe was on the verge of purring.

"In that case, Serenity's entire engine is retro," Jayne said teasingly, ducking out of the way of Kaylee's playful swipe.

"Shurrup," Kaylee returned. "I wanna watch this."

"Sure is kind of ridiculous," Mal said smoothly, only the slightly uncomfortable look on his face belying that he was only really saying something to _say _it, rather than having something to say. He'd been making an effort to do so in the last few months. No one else noticed how uncomfortable Mal was around Inara, except Inara herself. "Witches and wizards an' all."

"There's just witches, and hot ones too," Jayne remarked, openly staring at the cleavages of the women on screen.

"Jayne, those women died five hundred years ago, give or take a couple of years," Simon said, sounding slightly appalled.

"Lots of things died five hundred years ago," River commented airily.

"Thanks for that insightful comment, River," Mal said, sharing a grin with the fragile teenager. River smiled back. That was one relationship that included Mal that hadn't been stiff and fake for the last couple of months, Inara noted. The two had gotten to be co-conspirators if not quite friends when the bounty hunter Early attacked the ship for the prank River played on them.

"Respectfully sir, will you please shut up? Some of us are tryin' to listen." Kaylee fixed Mal with a dark look, and Mal instantly stuck his tongue out at her and shut up.

"_Don't give up,"_ the brown haired guy was saying on screen to the stabbed man on the bed.

"_You either."_

Inara kept her dark eyes on the screen, resisting the urge to flicker looks at Mal. She'd tried to stop herself from doing that months ago, but it didn't work. Every so often she felt the irresistible urge to look at him, gauge his reactions, see what his feelings were on the situation. Now it took all her will not to.

Thankfully, the events on screen distracted her. The character onscreen was her favourite, and had just apparently died and disappeared. _Go figure_, she thought moodily, rubbing Kaylee's knee supportively as the overly-attached-to-the-characters mechanic started to sob.

"He can't be dead," Kaylee moaned. "He was too pretty to die."

"Oh yeah," Simon said unsympathetically. "Prettiness is a medical attribute which stops people dying."

Kaylee gave him an expression that could have curdled milk, and steadfastly trained her eyes on the screen, refusing to look at him. Simon shot a look at Inara which clearly said _what did I do this time?_ and Inara gave a sympathetic nod back at him. Turning her head to him meant she caught a glimpse of Mal, though, but for once he wasn't looking as if he were faking a particular expression. A genuinely stony expression was settled on his face, and he was sharing a dark glance with Zoe, who also looked genuinely upset.

Turning back to the television, Inara watched the events dully, mulling over their expression, until one of the war stories that Zoe and Mal told her while they were reminiscing over Tracey came back. It was a phrase they'd used during the Battle of Serenity Valley. _Too damn pretty to die._ And the guy hadn't made it, Inara had looked it up afterwards, he'd been one of the ones that had died from his wounds while waiting for the Alliance med ships.

_No wonder they look so upset_, she thought miserably as the character on screen started shooting lightning bolts out of his hands.

"Yeah, that's it Leo," Wash said, cheering the character on. "Destroy helpless furniture because your son's died."

"Hey, don't be so unsympathetic," Zoe chided right back. "Some people feel sentimental over their children."

Wash cringed. Inara surmised a popular argument between the two had probably resurfaced.

"Some parents don't," Simon remarked dourly, obviously referring to his own father. He'd told them about how he was unwilling to save River when she was clearly in danger.

"I think I could imagine almost everyone here getting' sentimental over their kids," Kaylee said dreamily, her anguish over the character's death dissipating as her optimism slammed into gear again. "Except maybe you, Jayne."

"Hey," Jayne protested, more out of habit than actually believing it. "I've grown up lookin' after my mother, and if I have the unfortunate habit of spewin' out a kid somewhere, I'm gonna raise it the same way me ma raised me."

"What, deformed?" Simon quipped, high-fiving River after she laughed.

"I can't really see the cap'n as getting sentimental over kids either," Jayne said, clearly grouching.

"Probably true an' all," Wash agreed. He twisted to grin at the captain, to indicate he was joking, but he wasn't there. "Hey, where did the cap'n go?"

Inara blinked as they all turned to look where he was, and it was true - he had gone.

"Weird, when did he go?" Kaylee asked, oblivious to the onscreen action where the bad guy was getting his ass kicked.

"I didn't notice," Book said, "and I've been sat right next to him."

Inara sniffed. "Probably gone off somewhere to brood."

"Eh, well," Wash said, rubbing his nose. "It's only _one _letter away from broody."

Zoe smacked him in the arm. "One letter closer'n you'll ever be," she said disdainfully.

-----

The bruises and cuts were obviously not self-inflicted. The crew had tried to inquire about them, subtly and then forcibly, and when they continued to do so, Mal just cut them the hell off. He took his meals in his room now, face like a thundercloud whenever he stalked the realms of the ship, and it had gotten so bad that Inara had faced him and demanded a precise calendar date for her leaving so she could start packing.

He'd reeled off a date without even batting an eyelid. His face was closed up tighter than she'd ever seen it, and he'd just walked off.

The others had noticed too, which was why, instead of watching the next disc to see if her favourite witch had survived, they were discussing him instead, seeing as he wasn't there.

"He ain't eating that food he's taking to his room," Kaylee declared, her round face pinched with upset. "I'd damned sure bet my life on it, but I checked all the outlet pipes. No food's been sent down reclamation 'cepting those fish flakes that turned all gruesome on us."

"Must be a week since I've seen him eat anything," Zoe affirmed, her knees tight together, looking wholly out of place in Inara's softly dressed shuttle and looking more and more like a fighter. "Doctor, is there any way you can run some tests on him? Surreptitious, like."

Simon frowned, the internal debate of morality splaying awkwardly on his face. His inability to not show his emotions physically embarrassed him when he was told of it, and with Jayne around, he was told often. "Not without him noticing," he admitted after a moment's deliberation. "But if someone was, say, to accidentally put a sedative in his drink, and make sure he drank it…"

"We'll keep that as a backup," Book said, clearly just as uncomfortable as Simon was with the idea. "Maybe we could take the direct route."

"Ask him?" Wash's face was a picture of disbelief. "Ha, I can just imagine _that_." By the dazed look that crept on his face, the others let him imagine that scenario and continued to talk.

"Actually, doping him might not be a bad idea."

They all turned to see Jayne, who'd been sulking seeing as he wasn't allowed to see "no more hot witch booty ass". He was looking just as uncomfortable as Book and Simon, and they all knew instantly that it wasn't the same kind of morality struggle.

"Jayne, if this is about you continuing your campaign on spreading novocaine to the masses after what Simon did-" Kaylee began.

"I ain't bringing that up no more. Not after that she-devil is still running around half-cocked," Jayne grumbled, eye-balling River evilly. The girl just stuck her tongue out in return. "No. When we were back on Shadow, you know."

"Obviously _not_, seeing as we're all sat here just as confused as before," Simon said.

Jayne glowered. "Well, cap'n were awful shifty beforehand. Don't think he likes the place at all."

"So he's being a brat because we went to a planet he didn't like?" Inara asked, incredulous, wondering why they let Jayne speak.

The mercenary flushed awkwardly, although if you asked Jayne why his cheeks were a mite bit reddened, he'd have grumbled something about heat and possibly waved something sharp at you, or maybe at himself.

"Naw. When we was taking off, I saw him smuggle something on board. Something _so_ shaped." Jayne held out his broad hands a fair distance apart. A human-sized distance apart. "Now I ain't saying it was a girl, but-"

"-you thought it was a girl," Kaylee said, her eyes wide, the words sliding out in a single breath. She looked disconcerted, as if all the scenarios for why the cap'n would smuggle a girl to his rooms were playing simultaneously in her head.

"But we haven't seen hide nor hair of someone else," Zoe said, her brow furrowed. "And we ain't been anywhere to drop anyone off, either."

"Bet it's Saffron," Wash grouched, obviously out of his daydream now. Everyone bristled. No one wanted to meet her again any time soon.

"If it is, I'm taking her head off," Zoe said, "with my bare hands."

"That's my girl," Wash said, admiringly.

"Well, we can't do anything unless we know who it is for sure," Inara said, trying to be reasonable even though she was seething underneath just as much as the others were. "So we need a plan. A plan to get Mal out of the way, and us _in_ the way."

Kaylee squealed suddenly. "Oh. Oh. Oh. I got it." She squirmed on her seat a little, obviously excited. "We tell him he's missed a call when he stomps off to his room, to go to Greenleaf. Zoe takes him down to somewhere, where we can have had Jayne bury a big ole empty box beforehand, and when he's gone, we can search his room."

"Ooh, good plan," Wash said, immediately agreeing, looking to his wife to back him up.

"It's straight, I'll give you that, and I ain't all that good at wanting to lie to him," Zoe admitted. "But it's necessary, so I think it's a good plan. Nice one, Kaylee."

Kaylee beamed.

Book snorted a little, and patted her hair. "I think young Simon's been a bad influence on you, passing on his evil genius," the Shepherd commented with a wink at the doctor. Simon flushed a little.

"He gets that from me," River explained airily, tossing her hair and looking pleased while Simon just rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"I'll go and find a box," Jayne offered, his cheeks a little pink. Inara inwardly shook her head a little and laughed. Jayne was often painfully transparent when it came to his feelings for Kaylee, and the little mechanic was completely oblivious. It was probably a good idea, Kaylee was too sweet for the abrasive mercenary and Jayne was one of the ones that knew it most.

-----

They were running to Mal's room just as soon as the hatch door closed.

Kaylee and Wash took up position at the door, breaking through the simple security system with ease. Simon went first, his med kit tossed over one arm, and from his muffled swearing, it wasn't good.

"It's a girl," Simon called up, and Wash slid down the ladder to help.

"Son of a _bitch_," Wash said, and the others looked at each other in worry. "Can you lower the harness? We'll just untie her and put her in. She's asleep. Sedated, I reckon."

"Dopamine, looks like," Simon muttered.

_Untie her_? Kaylee's eyes were wide with the question, and she looked in horror at Inara, whose stomach was performing familiar flips. They all helped to pull up the harness, and Inara's heart sank at the sight of her. Pale skin, sagging from her face, grey in parts. Cuts, bruises, blood, scars everywhere. A cotton shrift, just modest enough to cover her thighs, and Inara would bet scars up under there too.

They rushed the girl to the infirmary, and Simon pushed most of them out so he could run tests on her, Kaylee determinedly staying behind to help be his 'nurse', determined to help.

After several hours, close to the time Mal and Zoe were due back, Simon and Kaylee left the room to where the others were waiting.

"How is she?" Book asked, looking through the window to the still-doped girl.

"I'm afraid she's been beaten, several times. She's horribly under-nourished, been raped-" Simon's voice was tight, and Inara felt all the blood fall from her face. Simon obviously saw her expression, because he shook his head. "The blood and scratches are recent, but there's no evidence that she was abused like _that _recently."

"I still can't believe he would-" Kaylee's voice was lost, desperate.

"I'm not sure he did," Simon said, breaking in, but knew from the others' faces that it wasn't an opinion shared by the others. "I- I've seen this girl before." The blank faces staring at him registered confusion. "In one of the psychiatric wards on Shadow. She was one of the cases one of my co-workers studied. Saw something terrible, and went mad. A lot of cases like that are at that Shadow hospital, the ones from parents who couldn't afford the healthcare. The state subsides the care in return for them being allowed to be studied by Med students."

"So maybe he was just rescuing her, you mean?" Wash said. He spread his large hands. "I don't know if I've ever thought him capable of this, but to be honest, who here _knows _the captain? At all?"

"Zoe," Kaylee said. "But-" Her face, usually bright with innocence, was clouded with doubt. "Do you know her name?"

"Huh?" Simon's face was pinched slightly, and he exhaled. "Um, no."

"Well, I don't see that we have a choice," Wash said, folding his arms. "We're all a damn fine crew, and I can't work under a man like that."

"What are you suggesting?" Kaylee's eyes filled with tears. "Leave Serenity?"

"That's exactly what he's damn suggesting," Jayne said. They looked up to see him standing in the doorway. "And I ain't going to be one who stays here, either."

"Me, neither," Inara said, quietly.

"I-" Kaylee's shoulder sagged. "I couldn't stay on Serenity without you being there, 'nara, Wash, Jayne- It wouldn't _be_ Serenity, then."

Inara felt a rush of guilt that she _was_ going to leave Serenity anyway.

"I'm staying," Simon said, his voice firm. They looked at him. "I want to hear his side of the story first."

"Me, too," River said. "Story sides are fun and can be thrilling."

"And I wouldn't leave without an explanation either," Book said, "but if there isn't one, I too, couldn't stay. I have some contacts at one of the monasteries here on Greenleaf, we should be able to find somewhere safe for the girl."

"Right then, we've decided," Wash said. "Pack, and we'll wait for Zoe and Mal in the storage bay."

-----

Mal was already fuming by the time they got back to the ship. Zoe didn't care to listen too closely to the muffled sounds falling from his mouth. She knew she'd heard it all before, but that still didn't mean she was in the mood to hear it.

"Wash, we're back," Mal ground out into the communicator, and Zoe held a fair distance back while the hatch door lowered. She stopped, and stared, and saw Mal's back stiffen as he did the same. "What in gorram hell to pieces is goin' on here?" Sweeping into the ship, Mal's voice was harsh as he looked in disbelief at the crew, standing defensively together in a huddle, with packed boxes around their feet.

"We're leaving," Wash announced.

"I can see that!" Mal spluttered, staring at them in disbelief.

Just as confused, Zoe moved up to her husband, eyes wide.

"We don't want to serve under a captain who would do something like that to a _girl_," Wash hissed, and Mal's eyes narrowed. His eyes swept around the bay, to see that Simon, River and Book did _not_ have their possessions their. In fact, Simon was bent over with some of his equipment, holding a pale hand in his own. Mal couldn't see the rest of the person, but knew exactly what had happened.

"I can't _believe_ this-" Mal started, and stopped, as the figure in Simon's arms launched upwards with a keening scream, obviously reliving some horrendous nightmare. She convulsed in Simon's arms, brown eyes wide, wispy blonde hair in a frazzled storm around her head. Her hands lashed out.

Mal stepped forwards instantly, his eyes on the girl, worry flooding his handsome features.

"Please," the girl begged, looking directly at him, "they're hurting me!"

Like dropping a hot potato, Simon moved back, and the girl scrambled awkwardly to her feet, like a newborn gazelle finding its legs for the first time. Furious, Mal met her half-way, and she collapsed into his arms, sobbing.

"Sssshh," Mal soothed. "It's okay, Sarra. I'm right here. Sssshh." They sank in a heap onto one of the loaded cargo boxes. He took her chin in one hand, gentle.

"They killed mom," Sarra whispered through her tears. "She died in red, her favourite colour."

Almost as if he was heartbroken, Mal nodded at her. "I know, sweetheart. I know." She bent her head into his chest again, her eyes sliding shut, her slight form trembling. He looked up over her bowed head, his eyes suddenly flint-hard. "Simon, I'd appreciate some medical help. The rest of you? Bugger the hell off if you want. I've got no use for a crew that would think me capable of this."

He picked up Sarra as if she weighed nothing, and without a word strode off in the direction of the infirmary.

**----**

**tbc****…**


	2. Chapter The Second

**Sarra**

A Firefly fan fiction by Melissa Ordesky.

Disclaimer: Firefly does not belong to me. If it did, the film would be out in March as an apology for scaring the fans with Septemberness. (Yes, just like Joss Whedon, I can invent weirdass but cool words too.)

Summary: Leaping to a bad conclusion... Ain't always the best thing to do on _Serenity_. Set just before Inara is due to leave Serenity.

Mandarin is, as always, from Ying's fabulous Firefly Chinese Piriyinary, and is also in italics; the translation is at the end of the fic.

A/N: God, this fic is cheesy, predictable, and I loooove writing it. And to whomever it was that whinged that I haven't updated for a week, I'll let you in on a secret. I had to mostly abandon one fandom because I updated my fics _yearly_. A week is good, comparatively. Haha.

-----

**Chapter Two**

-----

He knew the others were out there, listening, fearfully watching and waiting his wrath, but he honestly couldn't give a damn at that moment. Malcolm Reynolds' attention was fully focussed on the slip of a girl lying so close to death in the infirmary chair.

"She'll be fine," Simon said, assuring him, shooting occasional glances at the captain as he worked. "She's a little dehydrated, under-nourished, nothing a good couple of meals won't fix." He busied himself with a small recording device that measured blood pressure and the like. "One of my friends at med school examined her in the hospital at Shadow," he said, eventually. "I know she'll have been through some heavy psychological trauma of some sort. It would- help my administrations if I knew what kind of trauma."

Mal exhaled heavily. "I tried to pay for her to be kept in the hospital," he started, fidgeting. Simon knew the war veteran found it hard to talk about his past, by the sheer fact that he hadn't _ever_ talked about his past before the war, and continued running the standard tests, giving Mal space to talk. "Alliance raised cost too high. Couldn't afford it no more. She'd been kept a couple months in _Alliance__ security_-" his mouth twisted wryly, "-until I could pick her up. I promised someone of my family that I would protect her. She-"

The word hung heavily in the air for a while.

Simon looked at him expectantly.

"She was the only survivor of a Reaver attack," Mal said, and if the words ran a little too close together, Simon didn't acknowledge it.

He was too busy standing there with his mouth open, after all.

"She- She was _what_?" Simon's voice rose upwards as he spoke. "Sons of _bitches_!"

Mal grinned, but there was no humour there. It was tight ire, bitterness incarnate. "The alliance had told us that area of space would not be touched by the Reavers, and they were attacked. Sarra went almost as bad as the guy we picked up last year. Docs said she'd have to be killed, 'cept they told me of this _expensive new _procedure to remove her memories of the previous year."

Simon looked at him, his face tight. "They experimented on her brain."

Mal nodded, knowing exactly what the young doctor was thinking. "It did remove her memories of the previous year," he said, almost as if he couldn't believe it, but the bitterness came back swiftly, "but it left her as a permanent five year old, with violent urges. Her mind ain't quite all there."

Simon's face contorted, holding back another swear word. "I- there were some medications that worked well with River, up to a point. I know the ones which will cause too much sickness and side-effects."

"No."

"_She me_?"

"No medicine," Mal elaborated, his eyes hard. "I ain't going to let her go through all that _gou__ cao de_ treatment again."

"But-"

"No arguments." Mal's face closed off. "We're gonna do what we can to make her comfortable, while-"

"While what?" Simon instantly demanded.

"While we're here," Mal snapped.

Simon's frow burrowed.

"And it's an order," Mal added.

"Doctor's orders countermand captain's orders even on ships," Simon countered back. At Mal's fury, he swiftly continued. "At least let me rehydrate her and finish my scans."

Mal looked as if he was going to disagree, purely on principle, but one look across at the limp girl in the bed obviously helped him resist that impulse. Tightly, he nodded. "Will it take long?"

"Dopamine will wear off in another two hours, at the most. I'll call you as soon as she's awake."

Mal nodded, his face entirely unreadable. "You do that."

Simon nodded dutifully, adjusting the frequency of his scanner and moving it over Sarra's head. Mal touched the girl's hand briefly.

"Be safe, _nian__ qing de_," Mal spoke softer so that the others outside couldn't hear him. Now Simon could read his face a little, and he saw a thousand emotions that tore at him. It wasn't often Mal was this open with anything.

Simon shifted closer to him, on the pretence of scanning lower. His voice just as low so the others couldn't hear, he said, "I lied to the others. I know her surname is Reynolds."

Mal just jerked his head slowly in acknowledgement and without another word stalked out of the small infirmary.

Only to be accosted by a throng of guilty looking faces, who wouldn't let him through the door.

"I thought I sacked the lot of you," Mal grumbled, hanging back with an expression like thunder when he realised they were actually serious. He did tense into a position which meant he could go for Jayne's throat, though. Generally attacking one of them scared the rest away.

"I realise my pedantic nature will no doubt land me on my remarkably pert ass, but you _did_ use the phrase 'if you want'," Wash broke in, his chin jutting in an obstinate fashion.

"Yeah, you're right," Mal mused.

Wash's face registered confusion, just before Mal's fist swung and connected with his face. Wash landed, yup, right on his ass.

Zoe just started to snicker, even as she helped her husband to his feet again.

"Okay, I deserved that," Wash muttered.

"Cap'n, we are really sorry," Kaylee said, stepping forward and putting one hand on his. Mal's lips pressed together tightly. He knew _exactly_ what they were doing. Damn the fact that no one could resist Kaylee's honesty for long! "We got something to show you. Cheer you up a bit."

Mal's lips pressed even further together. "If you didn't know the damn engine so well, I really should still fire you," he ground out from clenched teeth.

Kaylee squealed, and then muted it under his fierce glare. It was a retraction, of sorts. Even though he was still damn mad at them. "Yes, cap'n, sir." Contrite, she bowed her head. "We were inexcusable. We really should have trusted you more, considering."

"Yes." And Mal's face closed off again. "You really should."

"You _son_ of a-" They all turned to see Inara, fury dancing in her dark eyes, fighting to restrain the torrent of swear words trying to escape her mouth. "You should have trusted _us_. If you'd told us she was there, we would have helped get her out. Hell, we would have scraped together money to keep her in that damn place _at least_ until we could get there."

Mal jutted _his_ chin mulishly. "Sarra's my problem, not anyone else's."

"See, cap'n, you ain't getting it," Kaylee said, miserable. "Your problems _are_ our problems."

Mal opened his mouth to argue.

"Kaylee's got a point there, Mal," Jayne broke in, quickly defending the mechanic. "You've stuck your nose in _all_ of our business and problems, even if we didn't want your help. It's kind of what we _do_ around here. Help each other out and all."

"Got a kind of poetry to him still," Zoe murmured, looking directly at Mal, letting him know with her words that she agreed with them, not him.

"All right, then," Mal snapped softly, stunning them. "What is this surprise? Better not be a shadow puppet play," he added, eyeballing Wash suspiciously.

Wash just squinted a smile at him.

Mal clenched his fist visibly.

Wash stopped smiling. "Spoil sport," Wash muttered as they started to walk, Kaylee excitedly leading the way.

Mal suspected Kaylee would have probably wanted him to wear a blindfold, but knew Zoe will have made her see sense. Even if they had, Mal knew Serenity like nothing before. Even with his eyes closed he knew exactly where he was from the smell of the air to the vibrations under his feet. _Lookit__ you, Reynolds, falling damn straight in love with a _ship_. Elsa would have been amused. Then again, she always said you didn't know how to fall in love anyways_.

Mal caught sight of Inara's dark hair bobbing alongside Kaylee. _She was probably right_.

-----

The blindfold would probably have been all kinds of useless, Mal reflected dourly as he found himself being led down some steps. He hadn't really paid attention to where they were taking him at all, lost in his own melancholy thoughts, but he did recognise the feel of that area. Deeper resonances, he could feel it through the soles of his shoes, and he knew he was near the guest quarters.

Kaylee bounded along to one of the quarters.

"We've been taking it in turns to sneak away and do this while you were in with-" Kaylee's nose furrowed, as she tried to think of the name.

"Sarra," Mal said, feeling as if he was admitting something, cursing the own gruffness of his voice. Zoe was casting a speculative look at him, but she was the only one.

"Yeah," Kaylee said, her voice subdued. Mal could still feel the guilt in her voice, and started to hate himself a little, for being the one to take her cheerfulness away a little. "Anyway. Ta-da!"

Kaylee pulled the doors open.

Mal stared a little, perplexed.

"What am I looking at?"

Kaylee peeked in, and then started to blush. "Um. Other side."

Jayne started to laugh, until Mal and Zoe glowered at him. "What?" Jayne protested. "'sfunny."

Upset, Kaylee scurried to the other end of the row of rooms, and tugged the door open, revealing a prettily decorated room with a large bed, cushions, drapes like from Inara's shuttle, a canopy over the bed and a large squishy chair.

"It's for Sarra," Kaylee said, stepping forward, taking Mal's hand and looking up at him with that damn ole puppy dog expression that damn near got him everytime. "Do you like it?"

Even to his dying day, Malcolm Reynolds would deny that tears very almost surfaced at that moment in time. He swallowed the knot in his throat, and nodded once, hard.

"O' course, you could have all spent the time _working_ you know," he said, real fast, and even as they all scurried away at his glance.

All but one.

He could feel Inara's gaze, calculated and analytical. Aloof.

And, if he was being candidly honest, scorching.

He looked up at her, suddenly meek. "Yes?" He said, defiantly. "Did you want something?"

"A date. For leaving." Inara's voice was cool. Steady.

Mal nodded, his throat tight. It was about all he could manage. "All right," he said, and if his voice was still gruff from before he didn't care. "Four days from now, after Greenleaf, we're dropping by Sihnon. Ought to be able to drop you off there."

Inara looked slightly troubled, but then brusquely shook it away. Mal noted the flash of panic and logged it away, next to other instances where Inara had looked antsy at the prospect of going to Sihnon.

"Thank you," Inara said. "Shall I inform the crew, or-"

"I ain't doing none of your dirty work," Mal said as frankly as he could manage, considering. "You tell 'em yourself."

"If I may ask," Inara began.

"Something tells me you wouldn't ha' took no for an answer anyways," Mal said dismissively. "You can ask, but I ain't got no guarantees I'll answer truthfully."

"Why the change to Sihnon? Nothing in the flight itinerary you posted said anything of-"

"Got a few contacts there," Mal said distractedly, looking into the softly furnished room in amazement, noticing one or two of Inara's own hangings there and resolving to surreptitiously remove them. Wipe all traces of her from the ship.

He turned to leave, and he looked back over his shoulder at her, grinning inwardly at her confused expression. "You ain't the only one to have worked there before," he said, enjoying the brief flash of her stunned face before he turned his head back and quickly took the steps two at a time.

Heading back to the infirmary, Mal found himself feeling a bit lighter than he had for the last couple of weeks. Maybe his ma was right, telling the truth did lighten a burden, and _when _did he start getting all nostalgic?

As Jayne would say, it _was_ downright unsettling.

He also couldn't stop it. Probably 'cause he was so tired. He hadn't had any proper sleep since Shadow. He was tempted to drop by the infirmary, but guessing the 'good doctor' would probably kick _him_ out on his ass he descended to his bunk instead, figuring Wash could hail him awake if anything turned up.

-----

_"You look after her, you promise me, right?" Oh, he could almost smell her perfume, boysenberries and mint. Elsa shook her brown-haired head at him. "If anything happens to me, you look after her with your life."_

_"Ain't anything you have to tell me to do," he said._

_"She's the first damn thing you've ever given a damn about, ain't she!" Elsa demanded, blue eyes flashing. "Your ma was real right about you. When do you get some leave?"_

_"School's out next week," he said. "When are the alliance shipping you out?"_

_"Mayhaps next week," Elsa snorted through the comms screen. "She's been asking for you, you'd better get your useless ass out here soon."_

_"I'm trying my damn hardest, Else," he said, his voice rising with anger. She pulled a face, reared back slightly. He could see her red shawl now, the one his ma made her._

_Elsa's face softened slightly. "I know you are, Mal. And I know this ain't easy, not for the both of us, but we both gotta keep going. For her sake."_

_He nodded, and touched the screen with his hand, two fingers. She pressed her two fingers against his._

_"Call me when you get the leave," Elsa commanded, although her voice was now gentle. The screen started to beep. "Aw, shit, Mal. Credit's run ou-"_

_Her face disappeared, but the beeping grew louder, and louder, and louder and-_

"Crap!" Mal jerked awake roughly, realising his intercom was beeping, and he staggered quickly over to it, smacking the button and trying to pull his thoughts back together. A quick glance at the clock told him he'd been asleep just over an hour and a half. "Yes?" He said into the intercom.

"Cap'n, we got a situation in the infirmary," Zoe's cool voice said, sounding slightly thunder-struck. Zoe unsettled, now _that_ was bad. Mal quickly ran a hand through his bed-head hair, and pulled himself quickly up his ladder to the corridor before belting down the corridors to the infirmary as quick as his tired body would let him.

The infirmary was a little messed up. River was sat outside, cradling Sarra to her. Sarra twisted upon hearing Mal's arrival. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks sallow, her hair matted to her head. Mal's heart thudded painfully seeing her.

He turned back to the infirmary, to see Jayne nursing a bruised head, and Simon trying to treat him. Mal turned to Zoe, who was stood in the shadows.

"She woke up, a little disoriented," Zoe said. "River managed to calm her down. Guess 'cause of what they have in common." His stalwart laconic second-in-command made no attempt to hide that they'd been eavesdropping earlier. "Jayne and some of the stuff in the infirmary were the only casualties, though."

Mal nodded tersely. He moved over to where River and Sarra were on the seats, and dropped to his knees. Sarra gratefully put her hands in his, looking at him softly.

"Safe now," River said.

Mal nodded again, not breaking eye contact with Sarra. "Yes. You're safe now. You're with me."

"Safe." Sarra sounded the word out, testing it. "Yes. Safe."

Mal shifted so he was sat on the seats, and Sarra fell into his arms again. Slightly awkwardly, he petted her hair, and looked up darkly at the invading gazes. Kaylee, Inara and Book had appeared too, probably having gone to look for him and realising he'd been found.

He twisted his head to look into the infirmary, to see Jayne staggering out, throwing a dirty glance to Sarra and River. Mal's insides coiled up, abruptly.

"Don't see why we have to have another _feng__ le_ girl on board," Jayne said gruffly. "My reckoning is we should throw one off ship and be done with it."

Kaylee hissed in anger, but it wasn't necessary.

Mal raised his head further, stately, locking gazes with Jayne. "This _feng__ le_ girl," he said, with quiet determination, "is my daughter."

-----

**To be continued.**

**Oh, you so knew she was. Don't complain. I did say this was _cheesy_, didn't I??**

Translation:

nian qing de (young one)

she me? (I'm sorry?)

feng le (loopy in the head)

gou cao de (dog humped)


End file.
